Zoom

Moving The Focus From Self To Others

Question - Rate 1-10 (1 low, 10 high) how often you look at your own image (mirror, reflection, screen pic, etc) in a given day. As a bonus see if you can keep track in a 24 hour period.

The last few months have been filled with screens and images of our family, friends and co workers trying to connect in a world and situation that has made relationships very dificult. Thus enter the world of Zoom, the amazing platform that allows us to see and talk to multiple people at once without having to leave the comfort of our own living room. Thank goodness right? Of course this digital technology has been available for awhile, but until now life hasn’t demanded its use. It has become a lifeline and most likely will continue to be as we figure our way into a new normal.

This means of communication has not only been a lifesaver to maintaining community, it has in many instances grown it. In addition, it has been wonderful to make lunch, check in on kids homework, take the trash out and jump on a work call; all in the space of fifteen minutes. The elimination of drive time to meetings and work has saved countless hours of the day that could be used for other things. There are parts of this digital dynamic that I hope are here to stay.

However, have you noticed where your eyes tend to go as you stare into the light of a screen for hours upon hours of meetings or classroom discussions? I am willing to bet your pupils aren’t as focused on the person speaking as they probably should be. There is also a good chance they aren’t watching the other people stare straight ahead trying their best to pay attention to the topic of conversation. Most likely your attention is captured and enraptured by the the most important person in your life. You. 

We are fasciated by our own appearance. Call it vanity or call it natural. We love to see how we appear. We are captivated with ourselves: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Speaking of ugly, allow me to be honest with how I am feeling. I am sick of looking at myself. I have become unhappy with my chin, my teeth, my eyes, and  the way my hat sits on my head just to name a few. Is this what I really look like? Does my appearance bother other people as much as it bothers me? I feel sorry for others who have to look at this. Thank goodness for speaker view and the ability to take myself off the screen.

Human nature is to zoom in on self. We can’t help it. We are the most important person in our world. Personally, the only two things that move me away from the focus on myself is my marriage and raising kids and even then the “I” usually asserts itself and wins. I am really good at figuring out a way to put myself first.

An important passage that has helped me deal with the perpetual nature of self can be found in the book of Philippians 2:3 where the writer Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

Valuing others above ourselves is one of the most important actions we can take as we interact with humanity. Think of how different the world would be today if we truly lived this out. Hate, anger, violence, and oppression would be replaced by love, peace, unity, and compassion.  

Oh, to only be rid of self. It’s not easy, and in many ways it’s impossible. Yet the passage above challenges us with humility. The origin of the word means to be “low." Practicing putting ourselves lower than others is important in our families, in our friendships, on our teams and in our workplace. Thankfully in our inability to do away with selfishness, we actually have the ability to rely on Christ and his example. Following the passage above, Paul says, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus”. To model our life, actions and posture around Jesus is the only way to zoom off ourselves and zoom in on the goal of love.

Let’s look to the power of Christ and his example to lead us toward humility and putting others first. The world will be better for it.

Question - What is one selfish pattern in your life that you are aware of? Be honest.

Prayer - Heavenly Father, we lay at your feet our lives and our desires and our habitual focus on ourselves. Help us to put you first, others second and ourselves third. We ask you for the strength to resist selfish moments and the grace to forgive ourselves when we fail. Thank you for your unselfish example on the cross and giving your life so that we might live.

Amen