Control

Being in Charge in a World Where You Are Not

Question - Think of or describe a situation when you were not in control and someone else was making a decision that directly impacted you? 

The older I get, the more I realize how much is out of my control. Another person’s decision may have a direct impact on my family, my job, my health, my finances and my quality of life. If you are a parent, your sense of control goes from high in the Early Childhood years, to moderate in the Elementary years to descending through the single digits as they journey through Middle and High School. Finally, they are off to college… See ya.

The other day we looked outside to see eight teenagers in our backyard hanging out with our oldest son. It was a moment of pause for all of us. In a season of social distancing and quarantine, it was shocking to see so many individuals so close together right in front of us. We didn’t freak out. We waited to debrief the situation when he came inside. Turns out some boys just wanted to say “Hi” and surprised him. There was no time to react, no time to plan, nothing we could do without embarrassing him.

As we face the new normal there will be much that will be out of our control. My boys will see their friends. They will touch things. They will bump into and wrestle with others. They will come home. They will live, breath in and handle things in our house. Rinse, cycle, repeat. I wont be able to follow them around with a bottle of disinfectant. They will make choices that directly impact our family. We can coach them and teach them and train them, but at the end of the day, we are out of control.

For years, I would read through the book of Proverbs at least once every few months. I found it full of wisdom on how to navigate lifes decisions and relationships. It gave me perspective on control.

Solomon, the writer of Proverbs says in chapter 16 verse 9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

In Proverbs 19:21 he writes,  “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

As much as I would like to think that I know what to do and what is going to happen, I don’t. Despite all my planning and saving, things have changed. I didn’t see this coming. Nobody did. I want to plan for summer. I would love to know what school and sports will look like in the fall. I try to imagine how my job and church will function in the future. Who knows? I am not in control of this situation.

James, a man who was close to Jesus wrote these words in the fourth chapter of his book, he says,  “you who say today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business, and make a profit.” You do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord is willing, we will live and do this or that.”

In this season, I am learning to trust God and realize how I previously put my trust in so many other things. My schedule, my bank account, and my own “normal”, all brought me identity. Those things have become like shifting sand, here one minute, gone the next.

I hope that I can move from, “I am going to go to…” towards “If the Lord is willing”. It’s a freeing statement. God first, me second. The tension is the same, normal world or not. I will continually plan around God. Short term success often trumps long term gain. I so often go first without working with God, and it goes ok. Why not do it again? Right?

 I am coming to terms with the fact that I don’t always know what to do and what is best. Fortunately, God has the controls. My best decision is to trust His decision to love and lead me.

How about you? 

Question - What area of your life (family, health, school, friends, job,  finances, etc…) can you give up to God and trust him with right now? 

Prayer - Dear God, you have this! You have our world in your hands and though it is sick and broken in many places right now, you are The Wonderful Counselor, The Prince of Peace, The Mighty God and The Holy One. I can think of no one better to get behind and trust with my life. Thank you for leading me.

Amen